Ode to Lifetime movies

Lifetime Movies how do I love thee, let me count the ways. Oh how there is nothing like a Lifetime movie that cam pick up a girls spirits. There is nothing like a good plucky girl in trouble story, it'll suck me in everytime. There is a formula one must follow to be a really good Lifetime Movie, here I will try to break it down for you:

1. It must star a once famous actress for who this is their last stop before infomercial and those where are they now shows. Now on frequent rotation that girl from Facts of Life, the mom from Family Ties, and that anorexic girl from that tv show with Kirk Cameron. Right now a surprising addition is that crazy one who was Ellens girlfriend.

2. Someone must be in peril. Either they have a bad relationship where they are being cheated on, beaten, or otherwise milined, they have to be sick-- real sick, cancer preferably, or their lives must generally be in danger by being abandoned, kidnapping, becoming a prostitute, or by murder. A really good show has any combination of these.

3. Someone a person loves is in peril, see above and they turn amateur detective to find out who done them wrong.

4. There must at some point be an empationed speach.

5. The title generally includes "based on a true story" or "inspired by real life events"

6. The man gets it in the end, it doesn't matter how, it just has to happen.

Here are some of my top favorites:
'Caught in the act"where the girls husband cheats on her she learns to become a private eye to catch him in the act and then her friend is killed by her husband and she investigates that and catches him (see rule 2 and 3),

That one with Sabrina the Teenaged witch's boat sinks at sea, and they have to wait for someone to find them while only her and the other romantic lead survive. Its called something like two left or something

The Betty Broadrick story where the crazy woman shoots her husband,

that one where Farah Focett shoots her kids "Small Sacrifices"

Ooh and that one with Yasmine Bleeth where she is married to that guy who ends up being a con man and shoots his best friend's daughter in law and steals the grandchild-- gives it to Yasmine as an adopted child and she had to investigate him. Love that one.

That one where that girl from Charmed plays a girl who after her birthday cheats on her, she makes him kill the other girl to prove his love to her. And that other one the Charmed girl is in where her mom is being beaten.

I could go on and on. Actually I already have. In conclusion, I heard that Lifetime is changing the format of their station and this is my plea: Less Golden Girls more Lifetime Movies!

Sincerely,
Stephanie